Any feedback on ad apprechaited! Help!

[OneLove]

Hi beautiful people! I'm a relativley new teacher and looking for any sort of feedback on the following ad:

Are you ready for a change in an area of your life? For example, are you having trouble sleeping, low energy, body pains (back injuries, neck pain, ect), or simply wanting to create a more balanced life or a deeper yoga practice?
I might be able to help.I'm a Registered Yoga Teacher and Reiki Practitioner working in the realm of yoga therapy. I have healed myself in many areas (including herniated discs, sciatica, ect) through the theraputic practice of yoga. Let me help you create a custom, taylored program that will help you acheive some goals you may have (weight loss, pain, or simply deepening and expanding your exsisting practice).

*Reduce stress and anxiety
*Balances mental, emotional and physical energy
*Awakens, rejuvenates and invigorates your body and life
*Detoxifies and cleanses the body, tones & strengthens muscles, improves flexibility
*Prevents and reduces injury, illness and disease
*A Yoga therapy program is a wellness program designed for individuals with specific health conditions (injuries, disease, or emotional) empower them to progress toward greater health and freedom from disease.

I also teach vinyasa and power yoga for strength,weight loss and a dynamic meditation experience!

Yoga Private: a private session designed to work through and develop body alignment, breathing, a practice to take home, personal assists and andjustments (if desired) , and light touch energy work (if desired).

Yoga Therapy: working with a specific goal of restoring balance to an area of the body, mind or spirit. Great for people with specific conditions (ex: an neck, back, knee injury, depression/anxiety, obesity, diabetes, prevention and relief from arthritis, and more..

Please call Christine to schedule an apointment today! 561-400-1063 or email Liberty9887@yahoo.com

[Administrator]

Originally Posted by OneLove

Hi beautiful people! I'm a relativley new teacher and looking for any sort of feedback on the following ad:

Are you ready for a change in an area of your life? For example, are you having trouble sleeping, low energy, body pains (back injuries, neck pain, ect), or simply wanting to create a more balanced life or a deeper yoga practice?

First, where's your headline that's going to get them in the body of the ad?

Second, get rid of the deeper yoga practice. It's jargon and I assure you no one on Craigslist is looking for that.

Originally Posted by OneLove

I might be able to help.I'm a Registered Yoga Teacher and Reiki Practitioner working in the realm of yoga therapy. I have healed myself in many areas (including herniated discs, sciatica, ect) through the theraputic practice of yoga. Let me help you create a custom, taylored program that will help you acheive some goals you may have (weight loss, pain, or simply deepening and expanding your exsisting practice).

Don't combine Yoga and Reiki in your ads. Be careful talking about healing medical conditions. You may be in violation of yoga ethics statements as well as some state laws.

Originally Posted by OneLove

*Reduce stress and anxiety
*Balances mental, emotional and physical energy
*Awakens, rejuvenates and invigorates your body and life
*Detoxifies and cleanses the body, tones & strengthens muscles, improves flexibility
*Prevents and reduces injury, illness and disease
*A Yoga therapy program is a wellness program designed for individuals with specific health conditions (injuries, disease, or emotional) empower them to progress toward greater health and freedom from disease.

These are all good benefits. They should be higher up in your ad and written in a conversational tone.

Originally Posted by OneLove

I also teach vinyasa and power yoga for strength,weight loss and a dynamic meditation experience!

There ya go using terms no one outside the yoga community understands.

What's Vinyasa they are thinking. And you've lost them.

Originally Posted by OneLove;78 Yoga Private: a private session designed to work through and develop body alignment, breathing, a practice to take home, personal assists and andjustments (if desired) , and light touch energy work (if desired).

Yoga Therapy: working with a specific goal of restoring balance to an area of the body, mind or spirit. Great for people with specific conditions (ex: an neck, back, knee injury, depression/anxiety, obesity, diabetes, prevention and relief from arthritis, and more..

Please call Christine to schedule an apointment today! 561-400-1063 or email [EMAIL="Liberty9887@yahoo.com"

Liberty9887@yahoo.com[/email]

You are trying to do too much in one ad.

Do people outside the yoga community know what adjustments are? No.
Do people know what light touch energy work is? No.

Have you made your case for any of them?

No.

Focus on one benefit of yoga in your ad. And taaaaalk about it. Not once sentence. Have an imaginary conversation in your mind.

And - I'm not one to talk here - check the spelling in your ad too.

Let's try again.

Namaste!

Harlan

[LucyAnn]

Hi Christine,
I too am learning to post ads, but notice a couple of typos in your ad. While that may not be a big deal, it may turn off some people and you'll want your ad to be as perfect as possible.

I love the benefits you mention in your ad and I think it flows well, but agree with the changes Harlan noted too.

You have 'ect' for 'et cetera' is spelled wrong. It should be 'etc.'

Also, you have missed adding a space after a period in a few places. This makes them look like run on sentences.

I love the benefits you mention in your ad and I think it flows well, but agree with the changes Harlan noted too.

Good luck and look forward to seeing your new ad.

Warm Regards,
Lucy